Mr. Jobs

Last month Apple announced that marketing guru Philip Schiller would conduct 2009's first Macworld Keynote in the place of CEO Steve Jobs.

The news gave life to rampant speculation about Jobs' health. (The CEO announced in 2004 he'd been diagnosed with a rare form of pancreatic cancer, but his tumor was reportedly removed without need for chemotherapy.)

Confirming spectators' suspicions, today Apple published a letter whereby Jobs admitted he is indeed missing Macworld for health reasons: specifically, unhealthy weight loss resulting from a hormone imbalance.

"Unfortunately, my decision to have Phil deliver the Macworld keynote set off another flurry of rumors about my health, with some even publishing stories of me on my deathbed," Jobs wryly acknowledged.

"As many of you know, I have been losing weight throughout 2008," — referring to media observations of his dramatic weight reduction this past summer. "The reason has been a mystery to me and my doctors. A few weeks ago, I decided that getting to the root cause of this and reversing it needed to become my #1 priority.

"Fortunately, after further testing, my doctors think they have found the cause—a hormone imbalance that has been robbing me of the proteins my body needs to be healthy. Sophisticated blood tests have confirmed this diagnosis."

Jobs said he has "already begun treatment" for the imbalance, and intends to hold his post as Apple CEO throughout the recovery process.

"I will be the first one to step up and tell our Board of Directors if I can no longer continue to fulfill my duties as Apple's CEO," he assured readers, willfully adding, "So now I've said more than I wanted to say, and all that I am going to say, about this."

Jobs founded Apple in 1976 alongside partner Steve Wozniak. In 1985 he was cut out of the company, at which point Apple suffered a decade of relative brand mediocrity.

In 1996 Apple purchased NeXT, another computer firm Jobs founded, resulting in Jobs' acclaimed return to the ailing label. The years that followed made his Macworld keynotes famous in popular culture, particularly for their cultlike following. Naturally, Apple investors worry that the loss of Jobs may result in another winter of discontent for the company.

Last July Jobs made headlines for allegedly lobbing the title "slime bucket" at a New York Times reporter who probed him about his health issues.