Why do I keep volunteering to cover these conferences? (Why do I keep using rhetorical questions, when I know that Tig hates them?) Covering conferences is hard work, not like just sitting around my spare bedroom making snarky comments about original reporting other people did. But, the ClickZ/Jupiter Ad Forum was kind enough to have wi-fi access throughout the conference hall, so I really don't have any excuse not to. Besides, it's half an hour before free booze 'n' schmooze, so I better file this now or never…

[UPDATE: post-conference photo phun picture gallery.]

That said, my idea of blogging a conference is not to actually try to cover the content, as I got here after the first two keynotes anyway, and I'm not getting paid by ClickZ to do this (though not a bad idea, hint, hint). If you really want the content, pay to come yourself. My idea of blogging a conference is just to make a few sarcastic remarks and paint an overall picture of the mood of the thing:

• Favorite moment of the morning: Chris Elwell, VP and GM of Jupiter Research, was very pleased by Larry Chase's comment that he looked like he'd lost weight. Let me note that I've never met Chris before and, to my eye, he seems quite fit, so I don't mean to suggest anything. But I couldn't help wondering whether he was aware that Larry is nearly blind.
• Attendance is nothing like the recent AdTech, but it was reasonable. Officially around 300 attendees. Mostly industry insiders, from what I can gather. David Card, Jupiter VP and research director, asked for a show of hands at one point, which I'd eyeball as 50 percent of attendees being publishers, 25 percent marketers, 15 percent agencies and 10 percent something else. [UPDATE: At cocktails last night, Card said he had a different take on the balance of the show of hands, where he thought there were many more agencies and fewer publishers than my analysis here. Just goes to show how subjective research is: two researchers, three opinions of the data.]
• The free box lunch was modest by 1999 standards but an improvement on last year, where one day Jupiter provided McDonald's flatbread sandwiches (as product placement for McDonald's, which presented its famous IAB cross-media marketing case study), and the next day Jupiter actually had the audacity to sell sandwiches, and for $9 each at that. I remember that as a low-point in the industry. I can't remember whether that was before or after Jupiter sold to Internet.com for $250,000.
• I have never heard funkier music during the intermissions at a conference. David Jacquin, a sound engineer with ESI Group, the company managing tech at the conference, put together a kick-butt mix of acid and fussion jazz for between sessions.
• The exhibition hall, such that it is, featured a grand total of nine exhibitors, few enough to name: Zodiac, MDlinx, Google, 24/7, Commission Junction, Overture, Skyworks, WhenU and B2B Magazine.
• Gary Stein, Jupiter online ad analyst and Up2Speed fan, has quite a good sense of humor. Moderating the last forum of the day, he began by saying "Welcome to the 'Crappy Content and How to Monetize It' panel," a dig to some crank complaining from the audience during the previous panel. "This is the golden hour: 4-5pm. Can't you just smell those free drinks?" Yes, I can, which is why I'm hurrying to wrap up this half-assed wrap-up.

  [UPDATE: D'oh! The downside of "covering a conference" while paying only half-attention to what's being said on stage (to be generous) while doing email and blogging is something like this. Said "crank" above wrote me an email to the effect of simply "Crank?!?!" Turns out he's the CEO of a respectable industry company, that at this point should probably be best left unnamed. Okay, I admit I didn't really hear the original exchange, just some audience murmuring at the time (from what I remember, the comment did sound a bit ranty, shouted out from the audience) and muttering about it at the cocktail party later. As it's been related to me since in more detail, it sounds like the "crank" actually had a decent point, but I won't bother getting into that level of detail at this point. Anyway, as said "crank" is also an Up2Speed reader, I hereby heartily apologize. Here's an idea: start a generous ad campaign with us and I promise to say nothing but nice things about you in the future!]

• While this is quite a small conference compared to AdTech, AdTech could definitely take one page from Jupiter/ClickZ's conferences: wi-fi. God, I love having wi-fi at conferences. Unlike ClickZ's recent blog marketing conference, however, I appear to be one of the few people in the room taking advantage of it (in fact, I think the only one at this late hour in the day). Of course, there are pros and cons to this, from the conference's point of view. One con is I'm barely paying any attention to the panel discussions. On the Pro side, however, no matter how boring the panels may be (and I'm not saying they are; as I'm tuned out, I wouldn't really know), there's no reason for me to leave, because I can be just about as productive surfing the Net here as were I at home.
• Finally, I'm pleased to say, lots more folks inside the industry appear to be reading Up2Speed at this point. And those who don't, I'm making sure to take their pictures, which I'll post here tomorrow. That's one way to get people to read your site…